Author Archive for MikeyD

UFC76 - What’s In a Nickname?

Published by MikeyD on September 21, 2007 in Opinions and UFC76. 4 Comments

From Snoop Dogg to Axl Rose, a well placed nickname can make or break a career. It’s the same thing with MMA fighters. Everyone knows who “The Natural” is. Everyone knows who “Rampage” is. UFC76 features some of the best well-known, and some of the worst unknown, nicknames perhaps in UFC history.

So what’s in a name? Let’s go through the nicknames of the fighters in UFC76: Knockout, and give a little love to those guys who don’t even have one.

Chuck Liddell – The Iceman

If not the most famous name in MMA, then damn near close. Chuck fights (and gives interviews) like he has ice-water in his veins.


YouTube - Maybe he should be called “Nyquil”?

Keith Jardine – The Dean of Mean

Excellent rhyme-scheme here. Implies he oversees the teaching of mean at some kind of school, whatever that means. Still, if he’s the Dean, what does that make Houston Alexander? The Chancellor of Mean?

Mauricio Rua – Shogun

Wikipedia defines shogun as:

The term sei-i taishogun means “great general who subdues the eastern barbarians.”[1] “Eastern barbarian” is one of several ancient terms for various groups who lived in eastern area and had not yet become subject to the central government. Among them were the aboriginal Ainu people who once inhabited Honsh? in addition to Hokkaid?.

Minamoto no Yoritomo, the first shogun of the Kamakura shogunate, seized considerable power from the aristocracy in Kyoto. He became the practical ruler of Japan, and received the title sei-i taish?gun. Thereafter, the heads of three successive shogunates received the same title.

Considering he’s from Brazil, and fought in Japan, this may be the coolest nickname ever bestowed upon someone who comes from a land that’s best known for single-named soccer freaks. Fack. I bet Pride fans basically offered up their daughters as gifts to him.

Kinda puts the years you were called Booger in perspective dunnit?

Forrest Griffin – no nickname

Come on Forrest. Your first name is Forrest, for crying out loud. The Dark Forrest? No? Um…Can’t see the Forrest for the Knees? No that’s dumb. How about Detective McGriff? Huh? A crime fighting dog? No? Dammit. Ok, no nickname.

Diego Sanchez – Nightmare

Solid nickname. I’m still disappointed he didn’t go with Dirty Sanchez and make the throat cutting motion before every fight, but across his top-lip as opposed to his neck.

*Sigh* Dana White, I thought you were a marketing genius?

Jon Fitch – no nickname

The way this kid fights, he deserves a nickname. Too bad Chris Benoit ruined the “crippler” because that would be perfect. Still, I guess saying “Jon Fitch, Bitch!” works, even if it is a little 2004.

Kazuhiro Nakamura – Kaz

Nice original nickname there Kaz. Not even Big Kaz or anything.

“Hey, who’s that?”"

“Oh it’s just Kaz”

Blech.

Lyoto Machida – no nickname

The Lyoto Accord? Cmon! Too highbrow you say? Well if naming a fighter after a failed set of environmental standards is highbrow, then call me Highbrow McGee. I think they sometimes call him Ryoto?

Thiago Tavares – no nickname

Begs for the nickname “Terror” doesn’t he? Still, I think Latin American’s pronounce “Thiago” as “Chiago” so I have no idea what would work there. Oh Latin America, you’re adorable what with your different pronunciations and constant pervasive poverty.

Tyson Griffin – no nickname

Dude. Your name is Tyson. Go with “Iron Tyson Griffin”, either that or pretty soon I’ll start calling him “The Lesser of Two Griffins”

Anthony Johnson – Rumble

Love it. Next.

Rich Clementi – No Love

WTF? Did I miss something? Was there ever a “Love” fighter? Yeah, we get it, you don’t like the guy. You’re not in love with him. I’m sure that will distract him while you throw fists at him. If his opponent doesn’t weep with despair though, I think he’ll be ok.

Diego Savaria – The Octopus

Best nickname to imply that he’s a killer wrestler and is “all over you” besides Diego “Lindsay Lohan in a nightclub” Savaria.

Jeremy Stephens – Lil’ Heathen

I get it, but I don’t get it. Are heathens tough? Is Lil’ really an appropriate moniker for a fighter? Basically I’m picturing Damien from the Omen, and while creepy and a little disturbing, I’m pretty sure I could choke the lil’ fucker out in Round 1.

Scott Junk – no nickname

Junk-Yard Dog? No? Nobody?

Junk in the Trunk? Bah! I’m giving you gold here people. GOLD!

Christian Wellisch – The Hungarian Nightmare

Never mind that his real name sounds like he’s a British Lord, I thought the Hungarian Nightmare was actually going to Hungary.

*shudders*

And finally, our grand prize nickname champions of UFC76

Michihiro Omigawa – Micci

Vs.

Matt Wiman – Handsome

Ugh. You’re supposed to be tough as nails, so you choose “Handsome” and “Micci” as your nicknames. Really?

Handsome actually makes me want to hurt you, while Micci sounds like either a mouse or that annoying girl your girlfriend hangs out with who always gets drunk and tells you “you knowwww ifsh it wasn’t fer Nicole I fink we’d rullly be a good mashhh”

Is it possible they could knock each other out – kind of like when Macho Man would face Hulk Hogan?

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UFC75 - Pride in the UFC

Published by MikeyD on August 28, 2007 in Fight Cards, Fight Previews, Fighters, Opinions, PRIDE and UFC75. 9 Comments

quinton_jackson_henderson200.jpgWhile I don’t want to over-exaggerate or speak completely in hyperbole, UFC75 is going to be the FREAKING GREATEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED. EVER.

After years of waiting on the Fertitta brothers to bring us a true Pride Fighting – UFC merger, here it is laid out before us in spectacular fashion.

UFC75 features the first-ever MMA unification bout, when Quintin Rampage Jackson defends his UFC Light heavyweight Title against Pride Fighting’s Champion Dan Hollywood Henderson. While fighting enthusiasts will note that Jackson is by-and-large a Pride fighter new to the UFC (why you gotta be a dick like that?), when he knocked out Chuck Liddell like he had stolen his momma’s purse he became a fan-favorite and one of Dana White’s poster-boys.

Henderson has taken the long road back to the U.S. and is a far cry from the fighter who competed in UFC17. That said, the competition is a far cry from the previous generation of fighters – Quintin Jackson ain’t no Carlos Newton, that’s for sure. Those who doubt his credentials though should be forced to watch his defeat of Wanderlei Silva to understand what a rounded fighter he is. Considering that he is known for his clinch and grappling, yet defeated the striker Silva on his feet should tell you something. If this match had happened in the UFC, and Silva was Rich Franklin, Henderson would already be co-hosting Best Damn Sports Show Period and appearing in Sports Illustrated.

While still operating in Japan, Pride fighting has officially taken a back-seat to its American brother. One need only look at the second fight on the card to see why. Showcased as the Ultimate Fighter 3 finale that should have been, Michael Bisping and Matt Hamill are set to clash in what should be a fierce grudge match. There’s a tremendous amount of hype about this fight, as Hamill is the superior athlete, but Bisping has quickly become a crowd favorite – especially in his hometown U.K.

Dana White’s ability to generate story lines and publicity is what created the monster that is the current UFC and conversely, doomed Pride fighting. Pride never had an Ultimate Fighter. Pride wasn’t able to make the fighters more so characters in a story, thereby drawing in your average fan (and chicks. Chicks dig that shit.) This is why Chuck Liddell gets cheers everywhere he goes. This is why Tito Ortiz is more a brand than a fighter anymore.

The match between Cheick Kongo and Mirko Cro Cop only further illustrates this divide. Cro Cop was known to MMA fans as a complete and utter juggernaut in Pride fighting. With the most brutal body kicks in the biz and a stone-cold demeanor, he seemed to be an easy transition to UFC fans. That was before Gabriel Gonzaga kicked him in the head like it was a gang initiation and knocked him out cold. If Cro Cop can regain momentum against the up-and-coming striker Kongo he’ll get his chance to be in the top echelon of fighters again. If he falls, Kongo moves up the ladder, while Cro Cop’s career will take a serious detour. One thing is for sure however, while fighters come and go, the UFC’s usurpation of Pride fighting will be a constant.

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Chuck Liddell - Whats up now?

Published by MikeyD on July 17, 2007 in Fighters, Opinions and UFC76. 75 Comments

When ESPN.com competes their “who’s now” series – pitting sports stars against each other in some sort of cultural relevance that apparently only appeals to the US Weekly mindset, Chuck Liddell figures to be somewhere in the bottom of the field of sixty-four against the likes of Peyton Manning (too many commercials), Tiger Woods (too many golf players) and Maria Sharapova (too many…well, she’s hot). If you were making a “who’s now” list of MMA fighters amongst those who know, unfortunately the Iceman would probably not fair much better.

After Chuck’s devastating loss to Quintin “Rampage” Jackson – where he lost his belt and most people would say his reputation as the toughest SOB around – it looks like he has been passed to the old guard of fighters, still respectable but not nearly as exciting as some of the up and comers.

This shouldn’t be entirely unexpected. From the moment the camera went back and forth between Jackson and Liddell it was easy to see that Ultimate Fighting had changed hands. Here was Chuck, stoic as ever, pasty-assed, with his gut hanging distended like some orphan from Ethiopia. Standing across from him was the single scariest man in fighting. Jackson looked mean. Just mean. When he came on camera I’ll admit, a little bit of pee came out. Rampage was jacked, focused and intimidating. Chuck looked like that guy who got thrown out of high school for tearing up the front grass in his 87 Mustang.

Still though, at the bar where I watched UFC 71, the audience seemed pretty evenly split in its loyalty, if not slightly in favor of Liddell. Then again, many of his supporters were chicks – girlfriends who profess to love the sport so their boyfriend will be happy – and we all know chicks don’t know shit about fighting. People who religiously know mixed martial arts, and more specifically the Ultimate Fighting Championship, were divided amongst the old school – who worship the “legends”; Chuck Liddell, Rich Franklin, Randy Couture and those who see the emergence of the newer class; Rashad Evans, Anderson Silva, Quintin Jackson.

With the emergence of this newer class, one-sided fighters like Liddell are in a tentative position. The Iceman was known as the meanest, toughest badass around. He appeared on Punk’d and scared Johnnie Drama to snot on Entourage. Still, when you’re known as the toughest guy around and someone beats you, not beats you in a technical fight-sense, but straight up whoops your ass, what are you?

If you’re Chuck Liddell, who let’s face it has never been accused of being brilliant or even shrewd in his career like say a Tito Ortiz, you’re basically yesterday’s news. The fight against Wanderlei Silva would have given Liddell a chance to reclaim some of his cred, to possibly work his way back to a title shot, but Silva’s camp pulled out of that, leaving him to face a lesser opponent like possibly Keith Jardine (who himself was whooped by Houston Alexander).

If Liddell is able to run the table on his next new fights and steal some headlines, he could be back on top, promoting sports drinks and terrible tasting protein bars. If he loses again though? It could well spell the end of the Ice Age.

Chuck in his prime:


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Steroids in MMA - Rage over Roids

Published by MikeyD on July 13, 2007 in Fighters, Opinions and Uncategorized. 6 Comments

The first thing many newcomers say when they see an MMA heavyweight match – albeit UFC, Pride, IFL, two guys going at it over a girl in a back alley, whatever – is “those guys have to be juicin’”. MMA defenders have to launch into their fall-back defense: you don’t know anything, these guys are machines, they work their butts off and are pure animals…dedication…discipline…nutrition…blah blah blah.

In the past few weeks however, details of steroid and other substance abuse by well-known fighters have become common knowledge, forcing many enthusiasts – myself included – to really wonder how many of those guys ARE on steroids?

To be sure, the tragic murder-suicide of Chris Benoit and his family have shed light into dark places that people like UFC President Dana White would rather the fans not see.
“I’m never excited when guys test positive for anything, whether it’s casual drugs or social drugs or steroids,” White said.

“It’s one of those things. As the sport gets bigger and more and more people get into the sport, things happen.”

When Phil Baroni tested positive recently for both Boldenone and Stanozolol metabolites (or your garden variety roids to the average know-nothing) after his June 22nd fight with Ken Shamrock, he was banned for a year – the most common, and some would say strictest, penalty that can be levied against fighters.

Whatever the penalty, something is not getting through to fighters. Nate Marquardt and Steven Bonnar both served year long bans for steroid use – Bonnar indeed makes his return this Saturday to the Ultimate Fighting Championship. Diego Sanchez was banned for three months after he failed a substance test following his UFC bout against “Diesel” Joe Riggs. Melvin “The Young Assassin” Guillard and Nate Diaz both tested positive for banned substances – Diaz for weed (Really? How can you ban someone for weed? It doesn’t make you a more intense fighter – well I guess you could picture your opponent as a batch of chocolate chip cookie dough…) and Guillard for trace amounts of cocaine, perhaps why Guillard after his quick loss to Joe Stevenson said he just wanted to get out of there “So we can dance man! WooOOoooooO!!!

Finally, and this kills the teenager in me who idolized the master, the legendary Royce Gracie tested positive for nandrolone after facing Kazushi Sakuraba at K-1 Heroes Dynamite USA. Now to be fair, Sakuraba had beaten pretty much every member of the Gracie family in the ring, Royce included, but still, Royce was the archetypal good guy, the guy who when asked what advice he would give to kids thinking of joining the MMA ranks in an interview with fightingmaster.com responded, “Train hard,” he said, “but do not take steroids.” When the California Athletic Commission released its results from the drug tests it found his levels were so high “it would not register on the laboratory’s calibrator.” Yikes. Easy there on the juice champ.

There is no doubt that in a sport where being bigger and stronger gives you an advantage, steroids would seem the logical answer. Especially in the UFC, where it’s the best of the best, steroid usage is not a case of “if” but “how many”. Still, MMA is not the only sport where steroid use is being questioned – Barry Bonds anyone?

For those of you who think that steroids may logically be the answer, the spark to a career spent in the spotlight against top notch fighters, please consider that former NFL wide receiver Johnnie Morton tested positive for the steroid epitestosterone after his MMA match on June 2 against Bernard Ackah and that guy got his ass knocked OUT in just 38 seconds. Roids do not the fighter make.

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Tito v. Dana - When Bald Guys Attack

Published by MikeyD on July 6, 2007 in Fight News, Fighters, Opinions and UFC73. 6 Comments

Tito Ortiz v. Dana White

What’s a guy to do? It seems like Tito Ortiz, the Huntington Beach Bad Boy, can’t buy respect these days. Rashad Evans is straight up roasting Tito as their fight approaches – calling Tito a “stepping stone” and a has-been. Pundits are questioning if he still has the ability to be a marquee star in the UFC. I’d also imagine that he gets some looks from guys when he walks into a restaurant with his girlfriend, former porn queen Jenna Jameson (does anything sound less appealing than the moniker “former porn queen”?). Adding to the Tito drama is a tito-lizing storyline with UFC President Dana White.

In case you don’t know the story – and I’m going to give it the fluff treatment here (I wish every article could have porn references), in 2003 Tito Ortiz had a boxing match with Dana White signed into his UFC contract so the two could work out their “differences” – just like Liam and Noel Gallagher did. The details of the fight weren’t signed at that time, but once negotiations began, Tito’s camp (and by camp I mean Jenna Jameson) effectively pulled the plug. Mr. Ortiz claims the reason was that Dana White would not split the profits 50-50 and the aired-special about the fight on SpikeTV would (and did) not have Tito listed as co-producer, something he felt he deserved as he came up with the idea for the whole fight. Eager to disprove that the stumbling block was Tito’s money shot (I’m in writer heaven here), his side stated that he would even prefer all profits go to charity.

As for Dana White, he seems more than content to just rip Tito to shreds in the court of public opinion. In the Spike TV special about the proposed boxing match, Dana is seen training his butt off, only to have Tito pull out (not going to make a JJ joke here. Promise.) at the last second – saying that he was letting Dana “off the hook”. Tito comes across as a showy coward, while Dana White is shown as the true fighter, left in the ring as the credits roll.

Now the behind the scenes negotiation between the two sides clears up some of the issues – White not giving a full three weeks for a bout agreement which all UFC fights have, the argument over profits, the legal mumbo-jumbo. White still however had a chip on his shoulder, saying in interview after interview how Ortiz was “washed up” and needed to do more than “beat up a nearly 50-year old Ken Shamrock”. White even misquoted Tito’s ex wife, who along with Madam Jameson handles Tito’s finances.

For his part Tito has taken by and large the high-road. He believes that Dana is basically threatened by a fighter as popular as Tito is, who is also not afraid to criticize how the UFC treats fighters and pays them far worse than a sport such as boxing, given similar viewing numbers. Dana has countered that Tito is basically done as a fighter and just wants to keep himself in the public eye. Lest anyone forget, Dana is eager to prove that he’s the top dog, saying to CBS Sportsline:

“Tito isn’t aware of anything right now. He is living in a f— ing bubble right now. I just tell what happened. I showed up, he signed a contract to do this thing and I showed up, he didn’t. Is he afraid of me? No, he’s not afraid of me, but he has people around him right now that thought it wasn’t a good idea unless he got paid a s— load of money for it. And why would I pay Tito Ortiz a s—load of money to fight me? It was something he asked for in his contract. He is out there making himself look like a jacka– right now. He ought to shut his face and worry about Rashad Evans.”

Well now. Dem dere dis fightin wards. Perhaps at UFC73: Stacked after Tito fights Rashad Evans, Dana White will pull a Vince McMahon and jump in the octagon and challenge Tito right there and then. If not, can we at least get Jenna Jameson to do a tag-team? Match everyone. A tag team match.

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