Wow. For a card littered with decisions, THAT was INSANE!
First of all, if you didn’t know. Here are the results:
Matt Wiman Def. Michihiro Omigawa Via Decision
Christian Wellisch Def. Scott Junk Via Submission
Jeremy Stephens Def. Diego Saraiva Via Decision
Rich Clementi Def. Anthony Johnson Via Submission
Tyson Griffin Def. Thiago Tavares Via Decision
Ryoto Machida Def. Kazuhiro Nakamura Via Decision
Jon Fitch Def. Diego Sanchez Via Decision
Forrest Griffin Def. Mauricio Rua Via Submission
Keith Jardine Def. Chuck Liddell Via Decision
OK. I know what you’re thinking. Yes, Jardine actually did beat Liddell. And no, that wasn’t a typo or a joke: Forrest beat Shogun, by rear naked choke submission.
If you are in need of consoling, I don’t really know what to say. I’m sitting in a bathtub right now with a razor blade contemplating suicide myself. I think Damon D has already offed himself as he is nowhere to be found. This crazy world just doesn’t make sense anymore…….
For those of you who make it to next week, I will be posting an article to try to shed some light on why we are having all these dang upsets! Did Pride really just suck? Are the former UFC elite now past their prime? Stay tuned for answers!
To be honest, I’m sick of all the crap that people reply when we make predictions so now I’m giving people to go on the record and shout out theirs.
Below you’ll find the fight card so from that, why don’t you take your best pop and making some good picks and write them down. If you feel ballsy enough, try calling the round and the method of win (unless you think unanimous win decision).
It’s all fun and I’m gonna compile mine later and post it on the site. Let’s get it on guys!
Alright gamblers. With all of the CRAZY upsets that have gone down over the past MMA year, it’s time to check out the betting odds and lines for UFC76: Knockout.
Each is based on a $100 wager. Ex: In the Liddell/Jardine fight you’d have to bet $350 on Chuck to win $100, and for a $100 wager on the Dean of Mean you’d take home a cool $270.
From Snoop Dogg to Axl Rose, a well placed nickname can make or break a career. It’s the same thing with MMA fighters. Everyone knows who “The Natural” is. Everyone knows who “Rampage” is. UFC76 features some of the best well-known, and some of the worst unknown, nicknames perhaps in UFC history.
So what’s in a name? Let’s go through the nicknames of the fighters in UFC76: Knockout, and give a little love to those guys who don’t even have one.
Chuck Liddell – The Iceman
If not the most famous name in MMA, then damn near close. Chuck fights (and gives interviews) like he has ice-water in his veins.
Excellent rhyme-scheme here. Implies he oversees the teaching of mean at some kind of school, whatever that means. Still, if he’s the Dean, what does that make Houston Alexander? The Chancellor of Mean?
Mauricio Rua – Shogun
Wikipedia defines shogun as:
The term sei-i taishogun means “great general who subdues the eastern barbarians.”[1] “Eastern barbarian” is one of several ancient terms for various groups who lived in eastern area and had not yet become subject to the central government. Among them were the aboriginal Ainu people who once inhabited Honsh? in addition to Hokkaid?.
Minamoto no Yoritomo, the first shogun of the Kamakura shogunate, seized considerable power from the aristocracy in Kyoto. He became the practical ruler of Japan, and received the title sei-i taish?gun. Thereafter, the heads of three successive shogunates received the same title.
Considering he’s from Brazil, and fought in Japan, this may be the coolest nickname ever bestowed upon someone who comes from a land that’s best known for single-named soccer freaks. Fack. I bet Pride fans basically offered up their daughters as gifts to him.
Kinda puts the years you were called Booger in perspective dunnit?
Forrest Griffin – no nickname
Come on Forrest. Your first name is Forrest, for crying out loud. The Dark Forrest? No? Um…Can’t see the Forrest for the Knees? No that’s dumb. How about Detective McGriff? Huh? A crime fighting dog? No? Dammit. Ok, no nickname.
Diego Sanchez – Nightmare
Solid nickname. I’m still disappointed he didn’t go with Dirty Sanchez and make the throat cutting motion before every fight, but across his top-lip as opposed to his neck.
*Sigh* Dana White, I thought you were a marketing genius?
Jon Fitch – no nickname
The way this kid fights, he deserves a nickname. Too bad Chris Benoit ruined the “crippler” because that would be perfect. Still, I guess saying “Jon Fitch, Bitch!” works, even if it is a little 2004.
Kazuhiro Nakamura – Kaz
Nice original nickname there Kaz. Not even Big Kaz or anything.
“Hey, who’s that?”"
“Oh it’s just Kaz”
Blech.
Lyoto Machida – no nickname
The Lyoto Accord? Cmon! Too highbrow you say? Well if naming a fighter after a failed set of environmental standards is highbrow, then call me Highbrow McGee. I think they sometimes call him Ryoto?
Thiago Tavares – no nickname
Begs for the nickname “Terror” doesn’t he? Still, I think Latin American’s pronounce “Thiago” as “Chiago” so I have no idea what would work there. Oh Latin America, you’re adorable what with your different pronunciations and constant pervasive poverty.
Tyson Griffin – no nickname
Dude. Your name is Tyson. Go with “Iron Tyson Griffin”, either that or pretty soon I’ll start calling him “The Lesser of Two Griffins”
Anthony Johnson – Rumble
Love it. Next.
Rich Clementi – No Love
WTF? Did I miss something? Was there ever a “Love” fighter? Yeah, we get it, you don’t like the guy. You’re not in love with him. I’m sure that will distract him while you throw fists at him. If his opponent doesn’t weep with despair though, I think he’ll be ok.
Diego Savaria – The Octopus
Best nickname to imply that he’s a killer wrestler and is “all over you” besides Diego “Lindsay Lohan in a nightclub” Savaria.
Jeremy Stephens – Lil’ Heathen
I get it, but I don’t get it. Are heathens tough? Is Lil’ really an appropriate moniker for a fighter? Basically I’m picturing Damien from the Omen, and while creepy and a little disturbing, I’m pretty sure I could choke the lil’ fucker out in Round 1.
Scott Junk – no nickname
Junk-Yard Dog? No? Nobody?
Junk in the Trunk? Bah! I’m giving you gold here people. GOLD!
Christian Wellisch – The Hungarian Nightmare
Never mind that his real name sounds like he’s a British Lord, I thought the Hungarian Nightmare was actually going to Hungary.
*shudders*
And finally, our grand prize nickname champions of UFC76
Michihiro Omigawa – Micci
Vs.
Matt Wiman – Handsome
Ugh. You’re supposed to be tough as nails, so you choose “Handsome” and “Micci” as your nicknames. Really?
Handsome actually makes me want to hurt you, while Micci sounds like either a mouse or that annoying girl your girlfriend hangs out with who always gets drunk and tells you “you knowwww ifsh it wasn’t fer Nicole I fink we’d rullly be a good mashhh”
Is it possible they could knock each other out – kind of like when Macho Man would face Hulk Hogan?
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